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 A difficult year :-(

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PostSubject: A difficult year :-(   Wed Apr 09, 2008 2:08 pm

Here is my venting session for the day.....
Soooo....many of you know that my grandma (mom's mom) passed away about 2 months ago. She was in her 90's and had been sick for quite a while.....AND her hubby had been gone for 32 years....so even though it was very hard and very sad....it was a good thing.

Well....until she passed away I had 3 grandparents and my children had 3 great grandparents. I have always been grateful for that as I know there are many people who don't have any grandparents.....like my hubby...he is the 2nd youngest of 8 kids and his last living grandparent passed away 11 years ago....so while I don't think I've ever just taken for granted the fact that they are here....I also don't think that I've cherished the fact that they've always been here as much as I should!

In December my grandpa (dad's dad) was diagnosed with cancer...he is almost 90---but the doctor's told him that it was a cancer (can't think of what kind it is right now...I'm having a brain cramp)...that goes into remission almost 100% of the time with chemo -- and since his wife is still here and she has been sick for MANY years and my grandpa has to take care of her...he decided even at his age to go through the chemo so he could continue to take care of my grandma.

Well...of course...he is soooo weak now....so thin and wrinkly and tired and old (lol--he's obviously earned that) but about a week ago he went to the bathroom and couldn't move after he was done...my grandma had to call my dad (they live about 10 minutes away) to come help get grandpa out of the bathroom....they got him out of the bathroom and into the car to go to the hospital where at first they said that he had pneumonia but as time went on they found that that is not the only problem...apparently..somehow the chemo medicine got into his lungs and there is not anything they can do about this. He is currently still in the hospital and they are giving him 100% oxygen...he cannot produce ANY on his own. Well...he does not want to stay in the hospital so tomorrow he will be going home where he will not be able to receive the full 100% that he needs so it will then be anywhere from a couple of hours to a few days before he passes. It is sooooo sad!!!! On top of all of that .... as mentioned....my grandma has ALWAYS depended so much on my grandpa that we will all be VERY surpised if she makes it too long after he is gone. I HOPE that she will be able to adjust and live the rest of her life as full and happy and long as possible...but that will be very surprising.

One good thing about this whole situation is that I was at least able to go visit with my grandpa and tell him that I love him.....where when I got the call that my grandma had been given a week at the most...I told my family I would be down the next day (I got the call pretty late at night)...it's only about a 50 minute drive..but it was late and I wasn't sure they would even let me in at the time I would have got there)---but got a call in the morning saying that she was gone....so even though it was past visiting hours when my fam called about my gpa....I headed there right away and was able to spend some quality time with him!

WOW!!!! If you got this far...you are amazing! I am very saddened that after 32 years with 3 grandparents...there is such a strong possibility that I could end up losing all 3 of them in the same year . I would sure appreciate any prayers for my family---especially my grandma who will have to be very strong and continue forward. Thank you so much!!!
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PostSubject: Re: A difficult year :-(   Wed Apr 09, 2008 2:15 pm

I'm so sorry Tami! I'll pray and send vibes for you!

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PostSubject: Re: A difficult year :-(   Wed Apr 09, 2008 2:46 pm

You know you are always in my prayers.
love you!!
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PostSubject: Re: A difficult year :-(   Wed Apr 09, 2008 3:49 pm

Oh Missie....I am all choked up just reading that! I know it is very hard to lose someone you love.

I was a wreck when my mum died. It is very stressful, and sometimes still is. She died on Easter Sunday, and so Easter is very hard every year. It takes a while just to not concentrate on breathing in and out every day.

Of course you will be in my prayers...but, even though nothing anyone can say really helps, at least you know they will be in paradise, happy and well, and visiting with family and friends.

That is how I got through those first few months when my mum passed. I knew she was busy doing missionary work, trying to convert her parents!

I read Alma 40:9-12, alot...it is very comforting.

I am so very sorry Tami..... Sad ....*BIG HUGS*

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PostSubject: Re: A difficult year :-(   Wed Apr 09, 2008 4:38 pm

Tami,

You are in my thoughts AND my prayers. I will include your name on the Mormon Tabernacle Choir prayer roll. We have one every time we meet.

Now, although I only knew one grandparent and I was young when she passed away, it still hurt. However, I lost my parents four months and four days apart.... BOTH unexpected deaths. My Dad passed first. I was lucky enough to talk to him on the phone the night he died and that gave me great comfort in the years since. My Mom died 8 days after she was diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer. I saw her for a few days before the diagnosis... long story for another day.... but wasn't able to see her those last 8 days. My sweet kids have never known their grandparents and in all honesty it hurts every day. They have been gone for 14 years and there isn't a day that I don't think about them and miss them.

I know you are extremely grateful for the 32 years you have had. As far as your kids are concerned, just let them depend on your for their memories. Keep the memories alive and share them often. It is healing to the soul and can mend a broken heart.

I don't think that your heart ever completely mends without scar tissue after the loss of someone(s) so special, but you do get to the point that you don't have to make a conscious effort to breathe in and out every day. My heart is with you and I am sending you BIG hugs. ((((((((((((((((((((Tami))))))))))))))))

If you EVER need to chat, I am just a phone call away.

Love and God Bless you, my dear.


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PostSubject: Re: A difficult year :-(   Wed Apr 09, 2008 10:35 pm

Thanks everyone for your love and support!

I am so sorry about your parents Edye....what a terrible loss! Crying or Very sad

WE have made an effort for my kids to be able to visit with their great grandparents as much as possible, however, looking back I wish that we had had them REALLY visit more....like ask about things they did growing up and just tell them life stories and stuff...mostly they just say hi and how are you and talk about things going on right at that moment! I also wish that I had more pictures with their great grandparents....for those of you who still have great grandparents well....even just grandparents.....make sure you take lots of pics of your kids with them...they will be absolutely priceless down the road!

I DO appreciate everyone's prayers and thoughts. We will get through this time---I never imagined I would lose my Grandpa Dallof close to the time I lost my Grandma Green as my Grandma was several years older and has always been sickly and my grandpa has always been quite healthy....it is quite a shock to have to deal with it and accept it....but we will get through it. He will go home from the hospital tomorrow and will then have anywhere from a couple of hours to a few days. I'll keep you all posted!
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PostSubject: Re: A difficult year :-(   Fri Apr 11, 2008 1:38 pm

Hang in there Tami. I'm so sorry to hear about this rough year of yours. During my short life I have learned that I absolutely, postively LOATHE the "mortal" part of mortality. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
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